Sunday, March 24, 2013

Waiting for something amazing... I guess.

First of all, hello and welcome :) This is my very first blog entry, ever. Well if we don't count the silly college IT class assignments. I have been hesitant to write a blog about my infertility journey, because I was worried about what others would think of me, and because I am a somewhat private person. I don't tend to overshare. But in my searching for blogs that may provide me comfort, I never really found anything that I was willing to read through. So I decided, instead of expecting something to be out there for me, that maybe I could try it out and maybe fill a void, because, just maybe, I am not alone.

A little about me that may be relevant in future posts... faith is a HUGE part of my life. I was raised Roman Catholic, though my family themselves were not church goers, just devote in prayer and living. I married a wonderful man that was somewhat raised Jewish but that doesn't really do the organized religion thing. I am very grateful for how supportive he is of my faith. After we got married, I went through a bit of faith crisis/journey and decided I was more in tune with the Presbyterian beliefs and converted two years later. When I was 18 moved very far away from my best friends, and then very recently moved to another state for job reasons. Now we are living on our own, away from family and most friends. Don't get me wrong, we love it here, the job opportunities for me are great, and we both love the area we are in... it just gets lonely sometimes.

Also, I am a bit of a nerd. My husband would scowl at me right now and say... "a bit??" but he is too so its ok :) We are both nerdy young scientists, boardgame geeks, and Disney/Pixar fanatics.... hence my blog title. When I was thinking up a name for my blog, I tried to think of a way to summarize what my journey has been like so far, and it came down to waiting, waiting for results, waiting to start a new cycle, the dreaded 2 week wait (2ww). Then I heard it, in the back of my mind... the quote from "The Incredibles"..: What are you waiting for? I don't believe in demanding things of God, giving Him expectations, deadlines, in other words, telling God how to do His job. I believe there is a bigger picture, a greater plan, and only He, in his infinite wisdom really knows the outcome of all this and it is the best outcome for me, eventually. And on my "saner" days which are few and far between, I can believe that, and that is enough for me. All I can hope for is for "something amazing" to happen one day. But, on the days when the universe seems to conspire against me, I rant and rave, fume and pout like any other person, faithful or not.

So this blog is a place for me on either of those days of sanity, anger and any in between. I don't know if anyone will read this, but if you do, and you are on a similar journey of hoping for something amazing.... I wish you the best of luck and may God bless you with peace at the end of it all.

P.S. I also highly recommend checking out the RESOLVE website for information, support, and great resources.

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