Sunday, May 26, 2013

Bed rest is not for the strong willed (stubborn)

So, here I am day 3 of "bed rest." Mostly strict bed rest for the 1st 24ish hrs, then kinda sitting up and and lying down at different times yesterday and today. I went out for a brief drive and meal w/ my parents who were in town, but now they are gone and it is just me and DH again. I realize there are only so many things one can do while not able to sit or stand for extended periods of time.
The thing that makes it worse for me is the uncertainty. What difference will it make that I walked those extra steps today, or that I wasn't entirely lying flat for the last 48 hours? I have read countless forums, infertility websites, and such that say one thing or the other, that you should increase blood flow and go about your life as normal. Of course they spout these things without statistics and I don't know any better so all I have is the word of my infertility clinic and hope that at some point I will be doing something right.
But I won't know anything for two weeks... WEEKS! Uuggh. I will go back to normal activities tomorrow because in the end, at least in my mind, it is in God's hands, and this is in his will I can be doing a triathlon and it will still happen. I am doing all of this mostly for my sanity. If something goes wrong, I won't allow myself to find blame in how long I sat or walked, or the time I got up 3 times in a row because I was tired of asking DH to do every little thing for me. 
It is a beautiful weekend outside with wonderful hiking weather and all I can do is ask DH to open the windows and imagine myself outside walking about.

On another, less whiny note, I did get to see the embryos before they transferred them and the cell bio geek in me was jumping for joy. And honestly, how many can say: "Gosh, it's like it was just yesterday I saw them at the blastocyst stage..."  =P

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