Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Lows and Highs during treatment

I went in for retrieval on Sunday, and to be honest I was pretty scared. I called my good friend who has been through this twice before, and she reassured me it wasn't a big deal. And as usual, she was right. The sedation was kinda nice, I woke up well and was a bit sore but not too bad. I took the day off for the most part and when I did have to get up and walk, I was kinda slow because I was sore, like strong menstrual cramps. In the end when I woke up my nurse said: We got four! I was so happy. Not only is it my lucky/favorite number, but it feels like good odds to me.
Then, as it usually goes with this kinda thing, there was the waiting. Monday was a bit rough, trying to keep myself off the internet (unsuccessfully) googling things like "3 day vs. 5 day transfer" and "bed rest after transfer?" A word of advice, avoid reading blogs and forums as much as you can for things like this because your doctor is going to know best. You will always find someone who was successful and not with any situation, 3 day, 5 day, bed rest, back to work... any of those. I need to trust my doctor and let him call the shots. What worked for me, may or may not work for you. This is one thing I have learned about IF treatment, the unique and sometimes frustrating thing about this condition, as is with other diseases, is that everyone's is going to be different because all of our bodies are different.
So I waited, impatiently for my phone call. All the while all of these "ifs" swam around my head: what if they aren't fertilizing, what if I don't end up with anything to transfer, what if I only have the one,... I really want all four to fertilize so I have some to freeze for the future, or if, God forbid, it fails.
Finally, I got the call from the embryology lab to tell me, all four are growing and I will be doing a 5 day transfer. I am sure there were more details but unfortunately I had a difficult time understand the kind man's Asian accent, so I kept repeating what he said to make sure I understood the key points. I was so happy that after I called my mom, tears just streamed down my face.... finally tears of joy. I know this doesn't guarantee success, but I feel like I finally have a fighting chance.... that this may happen! And if it doesn't happen Friday, I have the opportunity to try at least one more time. Now, its all in His hands and if that embryo is to grow and become my child, it is His decision.

After all, God is good. :)

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